Category Archives: Nonsense

Patriot Fan’s Talking Shit

Ray Lewis billboard2YHOO- Billboards operated by Clear Channel in Boston have a countdown running for Ray Lewis’ retirement party which they predict is going to be this Sunday.  If you were hoping for the Patriots to lose I bet you’re hoping they lose that much more as I am. Normally I wouldn’t care, but I’m a NY Giants Fan and I can’t stand the Patriots like many other football fans across the United States. So on Sunday Ray Lewis I’ll be throwing back a few beers and rooting for you, and hoping that the Ravens kick some Patriot ass in Foxboro so Ray’s retirement party won’t come for another 2 weeks in New Orleans.

Daniella Moyles Accidentally Outs Her Nipple, Meanwhile Rihanna Can’t Shut Her Slut Off

danielle1_1150923aGod I love who ever Danielle Moyles is. I had no idea she even existed. Now I am sitting here staring at her nipple wondering where she was this whole time. She was at an award show called the Erics Awards, when her nipple showed up. Hit continue reading for the nipple shot.

Then across the world, we have an article about Rihanna that just can’t go a day without spreading her legs and showing the world. She definitely is hot, but I can’t sit here and constantly stare at her at like a slut and want more. It’s like seeing a porn stars tits daily, you already see enough of it, so the chase is gone.

So what is better, the one picture of Daniella Moyles nipple or this entire collage of Rihanna spreading her legs?

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And Anna Kendrick Might Not Have Really Masturbated In The Movies, But It’s The Thought That Counts

anna-kendrick-hollywood-tributeNYPOST - I’m pretty sure Anna Kendrick joking about masturbating is just as good as her actually doing it. I don’t care if she was all for sh*ts and giggles, she was still able to put the mental thought in my head that her legs were spread, and she was in the back of the movies just fisting out.

The tweet that sparked this was “Ugh – NEVER going to a Ryan Gosling movie in a theater again. Apparently masturbating in the back row is still considered ‘inappropriate’”. Anna Kendrick’s face makes it hard for me to determine if she is hot or not because it looks like she had Michael Jackson’s nose surgery and her upper lip is always non existent, almost like she can’t close her mouth. The NYPost pulled a couple of her other tweets listed below that showcase her talent in addition to the masturbation one. Her tweets can make us overlook her mouth being stuck open because she has no upper lip, because all she talks about is sex and food.

“I had a dream that adult Happy Meals were a thing…. and then I woke up… starving. Well played, dream advertising company. #BigBrother.”

“Thought for the day: If I were going to take a naked picture of myself, I would at least clean my room first.”

Man Ran Over By Train While Taking A Dump

train11n-oyf-1-webNY1 –  A 31 year old homeless man was ran over by a train today while defecating on the East Harlem tracks in NYC. It’s sad to hear this happen to a guy just trying to release feces onto rat infested tracks. I have a bathroom that has a heated vent, this guy was homeless and this was probably the warmest spot available, so I actually feel for this guy. Usually when men are defecating we like to take that time to brainstorm, relax, catch up on me time, discover new species… I am pretty sure God created the earth while taking a dump…which makes this story that much worse that this guy couldn’t just release a load without being interrupted.

Don’t worry, he’s going to live… and if history is any indication of his future, this guy will probably sue the city and end up with millions in the bank.

UPDATE: The man died.

Yeah Yeah 2 Days Late, But Truth is I Can’t Escape No Pants Subway 2013



Ok ok I know… No Pants subway happened almost two days ago and just now Deliver Nothing is talking about it. I didn’t want to even speak about it because who the hell wouldn’t already know about half-naked bitches running rampant in public. A bunch of females, riding around with just panties on, that’s like every CORM’s dream… including mine. The only problem is the exact picture we see here… some idiot who should never be pantless in public, standing next to a work of art. Why and who are you to even think that anyone cares about you being pantless bro? WTF is wrong with guys wanting to participate in this… it ruins the whole event… and even if you do participate and have a dick, you shouldn’t post for photos bro. Against all man code asshole, put your pants back on you’re ruining this day for the rest of us.

Check out the NYDailyNews for the rest of the pictures that are sure to please until you notice the creepy naked guy in the background of all of them

Wait… For $3,000/Month You Can Buy Yourself A College Coed “Sugar Baby”?!?


NYPost Story Summary;

  • Coeds in College at expensive universities are in debt and need “Sugar Daddies” CORM’s (Creepy Old Rich Men)
  • “Mutually Beneficial” relationships are promised in exchange for monthly allowances averaging $3,000/month to College Coeds aka “Sugar Babies”
  • Females with high loans find easy way to legally prostitute to pay off loans
  • is about to become the world’s largest CORM Database

I mean, I would if I get to that point when I am a creepy old rich man… but still makes me think.

What’s worse? Having your daughter on the pole or dating wrinkly saggy old balls?


First We Saved You Money On A Lightning Cable, Now We’re Saving Your Battery Life.

41QrhQ3Dv9LSo first we delivered on saving you a whole $4.01 on a lightning cable, now we want to introduce you to your new friend for that cable. Normally we don’t like to advertise outside of what we have on the site for banners, but this was too good of a deal not to point out. Two backup batteries that are extremely portable and have a great extra boost almost 40 hours for both, all for 39.99 shipped.

These two backup batteries that are both great alternatives to cases you have to have on your phone. These are great in terms of battery size (6000mAh & 5200mAh), what those numbers equate to is almost a full day of use on top of the internal battery. Pocket sized, so if you need to take it out with you it won’t be bulky and inconvenient. One of the bundled chargers is also a dual USB, so you won’t have to worry about charging your wife’s phone while you sit there running out of juice.

Click the links below and to add both to your amazon cart, then enter code FREEIMIR when you check out.

Click Here single USB  and Click Here for the dual USB  

Idiot Alex Jones Does What Everyone Does When They Watch Piers Morgan

Screen shot 2013-01-07 at 10.22.51 PMIn case you aren’t aware, Alex Jones is dumber than shit, and although most the shit he says doesn’t make sense and is all nonsense, he really got this impersonation dead on. Who doesn’t see Piers and think about doing the same accent? It’s one of the most annoying f*cking things to listen to him speak. Either way I think Piers has some balls for bringing this guy on to his show and placing him within 3 feet and not blinking while this guy was going balls deep mocking him.

On a background side note, Jones was on the show because he created a petition to have Piers deported… for free speech, the first amendment.


Kanye West Ruined Kim Kardashian, Solidifies it With New Pregnancy

DListed – Who can take something that is close to perfection and ruin it better than kanye west? Now he’s gone and done the worst thing ever by passing on his ignorance in the form of a child. After announcing at his concert last night that he wanted to give a shutout to his new baby mama, news broke and it was confirmed that Kim is indeed accepting the most ignorant man’s seed.

Kim K used to be top on the talent list and still reigns supreme up there with the best of them but is slowly slipping, and with this recent news her body is about to be destroyed.

Top 3 Reasons Kanye Ruined Kim;
1. The nickname is Kimye – sounds like something you think of when you vomit Thai food.
2. Kim and Kanye seem to wear each others clothing, Kanye might fit into outfits that Kim can’t.
3. Kanye has managed to create a child inside of her forever ruining her body.

Say goodbye to one of DN’s top baby talents.




Screen shot 2012-12-28 at 11.53.14 PMIn a last ditch effort to keep the Giant’s season alive, I know of someone who might have risked money on this insane parlay. The Giants need a win on Sunday against the Seagulls in addition to having the Cowboys lose, the Bears Lose and the Vikings lose. All in all this doesn’t seem like a bad scenario considering the Lion’s are looking good and want to help accelerate CJ’s record breaking season, the Viking’s blow ball goats and the Cowgirls typically choke when around pressure.

I can already see you football fairies out there hating, but you better be ready for the Giants, because if they make this insane scenario play out, we’re looking at another World Championship Season! Everyone’s going to have a ring! HE GOT ONE TOO, HE GOT ONE TOO!!

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More Money Mo Problems!!


berlusconi_silvioYahoo- 76 year old Ex-Italian PM Silvo Berlusconi AKA MONEYBAGS AKA BIG DOG BILLIONAIRE has to pay his ex-wife Veronica Lario $47.2 million a year in alimony. In her divorce filing, Veronica was citing his taste for younger and under aged women were the main cause for divorce. But c’mon, who doesn’t want younger women?

Apparently this guy was some type of perv having sex parties in his villa, having sex with a 17 year-old dancer that he hired who is now suing him, you know normal shit any guy part of the Billionaire Boys Club would do. Can you even imagine though paying that much money just so he can marry his piece of 27 year old gold digging ass.


In Celebration of Vergara’s Recent Bikini Shoot, We Give You More Sofia Vergara

Sofia VergaraGod doesn’t bless many woman like they bless Sofia Vergara. Everyone’s favorite character on Modern Family still sluts it around in her personal life. After pushing out her son 20 years ago, there might be some wear and tear that we haven’t seen YET. Who cares what possible roast beef could be under her pants tho, when we have bikini shots like the one she recently took, you have to assume that shit is just as pristine as the rest of the package.

Honestly look at that body. She destroys most bitches half her age and she knows it. Sofia is definitely on the DN Talent list for females over 40. That list doesn’t stretch too far, but includes other marvels like Hallie Berry, Marisa Tomei, Demi Moore, Morena Baccarin and Gina Gershon… sure there’s plenty more out there, but those are the ones off the top that scream to get inside them.


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Kid Gets Hood Slammed On Head And Cries About It

Screen shot 2012-12-27 at 10.39.46 PMBad move bro. You hide under a hood then try to prank a black guy, don’t you understand those pranks never work?

The parents of this idiot should be slammed a couple of times under that hood. Who lets their kids hide in a car hood knowing that the person holding it is going to be shit faced shocked when it opens?

J.R. Smith Still Can’t Be Held Down With Another Buzzer Beater… Also Still Can’t Salsa

JRSMITHSALSAThere isn’t too much that can be said here. J.R. is unstoppable when it comes to last-minute jump shots recently. He hits the first of 2 last minute jumpers to tie up the game, then gets an inbound pass from Kidd to shutter the Sun’s hopes with 1 second left in the game. Smith finished the game with 27 points, Kidd with 21 points and all this without Melo in to assist … Lets refer back to the post about Smith and Tahiry… when you’re jumping on ass like that playing ball must be easy. Watch tonight’s highlight video after the break.

The saddest part of all this is when he breaks out the Victor Cruz Salsa and absolutely demolishes it. You can’t just break that shit out and expect everyone to respect it because you are on fire right now. Stop that shit son. You can’t salsa, we respect you trying, but you look like an gringo.

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Chad Johnson Sextape a Product of Boredom?

chadochocincoNYDN- The NFL player formally known as OCHOCINCO isn’t catching footballs anymore, instead he’s trying to manage ménage à trois while filming it. Chad Johnson recently admitted to being in a sex tape that has gone viral. SHOCKINGLY  he is claiming that he didn’t want the tape to go public, and that it was leaked unwillingly into the hands of someone smart enough to upload it to the internet. We’re calling BULLSHIT. Okay so we understand that Chad Johnson claims he wants to be resigned, and that he is definitely worth looking at for some teams. But what happens in the mean time, when he isn’t required to go to practice and watch tape… you make sex-tapes  Any man in his spot would do it, but own up to it Chad, this was intentionally done because your bored and wanted to get your name back out there. Don’t forget about Chad’s condoms, and some role we should be seeing these show up in once the video makes it’s official debut.

***Video after the break***


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