Category Archives: News

I’m About To Save You $4.01. You’re Welcome.

20130103-205044.jpg Need an extra lightning cable for your new iPad, iPad mini, or iPhone 5? Amazon is currently selling their Amazon Basics cable for $14.99. That’s right, you save a wicked $4.01 off of the Apple OEM cable at $19. And yes, I agree…$14.99 is still way too much to pay for a cable. I can’t wait for them to drop as low as the old 30 pins so I can get a 6 footer for $6.

The Amazon version looks like it has a bigger footprint, so if your case has a small cutout for your lightning port, you may be SOL. But, it’s never a bad idea to keep an extra around. Amazon had listed this for sale a week or two ago before it randomly pulled it for sale in the US, so you might want to grab it quick if you need one. Grab it here if you’re interested.

Kanye West Ruined Kim Kardashian, Solidifies it With New Pregnancy

DListed – Who can take something that is close to perfection and ruin it better than kanye west? Now he’s gone and done the worst thing ever by passing on his ignorance in the form of a child. After announcing at his concert last night that he wanted to give a shutout to his new baby mama, news broke and it was confirmed that Kim is indeed accepting the most ignorant man’s seed.

Kim K used to be top on the talent list and still reigns supreme up there with the best of them but is slowly slipping, and with this recent news her body is about to be destroyed.

Top 3 Reasons Kanye Ruined Kim;
1. The nickname is Kimye – sounds like something you think of when you vomit Thai food.
2. Kim and Kanye seem to wear each others clothing, Kanye might fit into outfits that Kim can’t.
3. Kanye has managed to create a child inside of her forever ruining her body.

Say goodbye to one of DN’s top baby talents.

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More Money Mo Problems!!

 

berlusconi_silvioYahoo- 76 year old Ex-Italian PM Silvo Berlusconi AKA MONEYBAGS AKA BIG DOG BILLIONAIRE has to pay his ex-wife Veronica Lario $47.2 million a year in alimony. In her divorce filing, Veronica was citing his taste for younger and under aged women were the main cause for divorce. But c’mon, who doesn’t want younger women?

Apparently this guy was some type of perv having sex parties in his villa, having sex with a 17 year-old dancer that he hired who is now suing him, you know normal shit any guy part of the Billionaire Boys Club would do. Can you even imagine though paying that much money just so he can marry his piece of 27 year old gold digging ass.

 

Good News For You New Yorkers.

20121229-162535.jpg If you live in New York and use the subway to get around, some big news is coming your way. The MTA has released an app for iOS devices that shows real time arrival times at 156 stations for 7 lines. The app is technically in test mode, but it sounds pretty robust. It can handle up to 5,000 requests per second. Now personally I don’t live in NY so this is useless to me, but its cool seeing official government apps come out to serve a real purpose.

If you’re interested, the app is called MTA Subway Times.

viaCNET

Holy Sh*t Another Guy Pushed Into On Coming Subway Train

ABCNEWSWitnesses told police that the victim did not seem to notice the woman behind him. He was struck by the first of the 11-car train. His body was pinned under the front of the second car as the train came to a stop, according to a statement from Deputy Commissioner Paul Browne.

Wtf is going on here? Guy standing at the subway station didn’t even notice the lady standing there? So this was a random push and shove situation? Shits getting crazy here in NYC. Women have always been hidden devils and not to be trusted (especially those you sleep with nightly), but now they’re randomly pushing people onto the tracks.

A Legend Passes, RIP Stormin Norman Schwarzkopf

Stormin Norman

“I like to say I’m not a hero. I was lucky enough to lead a very successful war.”

Yahoo – Paying tribute to a great American Hero, Vietnam Vet, West Point Grad and Desert Storm Commander.

RIP “Stormin” Norman Schwarzkopf. He was best known for his amazingly “rough and ready moniker” where he led the Desert Storm operation that fought against Iraqi shit president Saddam Hussein.

 

 

America, F&*k Yeah.

So a few weeks ago, Tim Cook mentioned in an interview that Apple would be sinking around $100 million into producing a product in the Mac family in the good ol’ U-S-of-A. Now he was pretty tight lipped as far as what product, and where it would be produced stateside.

Digitimes is reporting that Apple will be producing the Mac Mini here in the US. This is a great move for Apple. They can produce a low cost product (mainly because there are no screens involved in the mini) and market the shit out of it, with Made In The USA branding. And probably charge a bit of a premium from what the Mini goes for now. Well played Apple, well played.

Suck It Surface.

photo-520x395So by now, I’m sure you all have heard about Oprah’s massive screw up in trying to promote the Microsoft Surface tablet. And it looks like everyone this holiday season followed suit, and avoided the Surface like it was the bubonic plague…if we lived in Europe….in the 1300′s. Anyway. It’s just a matter of time before this thing is in a grave next to it’d older brother, the Zune. Check out what twitter user A.X. Ian put together after the break. Continue reading

Chad Johnson Sextape a Product of Boredom?

chadochocincoNYDN- The NFL player formally known as OCHOCINCO isn’t catching footballs anymore, instead he’s trying to manage ménage à trois while filming it. Chad Johnson recently admitted to being in a sex tape that has gone viral. SHOCKINGLY  he is claiming that he didn’t want the tape to go public, and that it was leaked unwillingly into the hands of someone smart enough to upload it to the internet. We’re calling BULLSHIT. Okay so we understand that Chad Johnson claims he wants to be resigned, and that he is definitely worth looking at for some teams. But what happens in the mean time, when he isn’t required to go to practice and watch tape… you make sex-tapes  Any man in his spot would do it, but own up to it Chad, this was intentionally done because your bored and wanted to get your name back out there. Don’t forget about Chad’s condoms, and some role we should be seeing these show up in once the video makes it’s official debut.

***Video after the break***

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Calvin Johnson Breaks Jerry Rice’s Record, I’m That Much Closer To The Shiva

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Photo Courtesy Deadspin

Jerry Rice, the greatest receiver that ever did it, just handed over his season record over to Calvin Johnson. Johnson is heading towards 2,000 yards for the season. And with big CJ breaking Jerry Rice’s all time high record of 1,845 back in 95′ by finishing the night with 1,892, he’s probably going to do it. Calvin is a beast, it’s not often that you hear so many talk so positive about someone of this caliber.

More importantly than Megatron breaking records and making defenders question their position, CJ just assisted with a great start to the final game of fantasy season. One step closer, and I really want to thank the 4 assholes that left him for me to pick in the first round.

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The Shiva is about to be mine.

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Tom from MySpace Just Sitting on Stacks of Money Abusing Everyone

anderson22apr2009HuffingtonPost - The best tweet this year from any person with more than $500 Million in the bank goes to Tom from MySpace. Tom  was speaking about the new Instagram privacy policy, and how ridiculous it is. Some guy  attempted to make fun of Tom about the big fail that is MySpace now, but Tom quickly responded.  With true new money etiquette, and asshole mentality Tom replied “says the guy who sold MySpace in 2005 for $580 Million while you slave away hoping for a half-day off”.

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What I don’t understand is what the big deal is. Who doesn’t talk shit to celebrities/athletes on twitter? It’s sooo easy and typically theres no repercussion of telling someone like 50Cent he’s terrible at 8AM. You have to do it at every chance possible, theres so much money in their bank accounts they can pay for therapy if you actually do effect them so who cares. This Polo Tapia guy is such a puss for deleting his account. Polo bitched out and didn’t even point out that it took Tom until he was in his 30′s to do it while Zuck was blowing 500 Mill at 26.

 

 

The Citizens Fine Balotelli and Mancini Has a Message For Him

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ESPN - Manchester City is fined striker and “bad boy” Mario Balotelli for two games pay or 340,000.00 GBP. The fine is a result of last years antics on the field for City as the 22 year old Italian showed the soccer (football) what kind of player he really is. It was a modest fine, as Balotelli was suspended for 11 out of the 54 games played by the Blue. Roberto Mancini, coach of Manchester City, has expressed to Balotelli that he must learn to respect himself before he can respect anyone else.  The striker did not travel with the team to Newcastle and will not be on the pitch tomorrow as they take on Reading. When asked if Balotelli would be released by the team Mancini said “Mario is like the other players. If he deserves another chance, he will have another chance. Now he must deserve this.”

 

FML, Even Maple Syrup Thieves Are Making Big Money…

Maple SyrupNYTimes – In the latest crime spree to rock the great country of Canada, thieves made out with $18,000,000 in maple syrup. First off, who the hell would ever think “let’s setup a heist and steal maple syrup”? How the fuck someone can even get rid of maple syrup on the black market I have no clue. Is it that in demand? Are IHOP’s in Canada dealing cash in the back in exchange for a discounted barrell? These are all things that most normal people, or anyone that isn’t Canadian would think. After some thought though, I can see why these guys are genius. They are so genius had to step in because so much syrup was taken. So these thieves went where no one else would, they took a commodity that no one gives a fuck about and said lets  get truck loads of it, so much that even the “Federation of Quebec Maple Syrup Producers” had to intervene.

But how does this look when you end up behind bars, the guy with 6 murders is bunking with you, and you mention that you’re in for stealing maple syrup? I’m sure in Canada that shit is equivalent to being muscle for Al Capone though.

These Athletes Are True Heroes

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I won’t lie. I’m not a big market guy. Growing up in Cincinnati and Metro Detroit, I usually HATE the amount of attention that athletes out of New York or LA get. But when athletes step up like these two guys did, it makes me happy that the stardom only means so much to them. After the tragedy that happened last week in Newtown, I think we were all left feel extremely lost and helpless. When the funerals for these innocent victims started to happen, no one could not know what the families of these innocent victims were going through. You would hear little stories of the victims that they were “the biggest Giants fan” or “the biggest Yankees fan” and you would think nothing of it. Two New York athletes let these families know that they really cared about the biggest fans.

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Tough Times On The North Side?

cubfansThe Chicago Cubs and Edwin Jackson are close to a four year, 52 million dollar deal. Jackson, who at best is a number for starter in a rotation, will be that second questionable signing of a number four this year. This shows signs of desperation for the beloved Cubbies, not inking Anabal Sanchez and not making a big name move. Theo Epstein is realizing that getting an athlete to go to Wrigley to play ball isn’t as easy as it was in Fenway.

The 29 year old pitcher has been in the makes for 10 years, and is career 70-71 with a ERA at 4.40 and is just shy of 1000 K’s. He hadn’t been able top find a home as well, bring with eight franchises in those 10 years. Texas believes that they are still in the hunt with signing Jackson, but it seems he would play a more pivotal role on the Cubs (perhaps a number two on the rotation)  then he would on the Rangers where he would be a number four.

RGlll aka “CORNBALL” gets fined 10G’s

Robert Griffin IIICBSSports- Talk about throwing salt in a wound. A week ago RGlll’s blackness was being questioned and he was being called a cornball. Now he’s being fined $10,000 by the NFL (aka No Fun League) for wearing Adidas to a game he didn’t even play in. Credit to Adidas for signing on Griffin even though the NFL signed with NIke as their sponsor. I thought only Rev Run still rocked Adidas, I didn’t know they still existed, NIKE ALL DAY.

On a side note, some lucky charity is about to receive $10,000 from RGIII’s $21,000,000 bank account.

Squeezing Boobs Stops Cancer … How Much Easier Does It Get?!?

justin-timberlake-mila-kunisMSN – I thought this was a joke, no way am I about to get away with grabbing wifey’s jugs randomly. On top of randomly grabbing tits, excusing it as a trying to ensure we are preventing cancer from forming… Jesus, shit is getting easy for us.

Research now shows that grabbing and applying pressure to boobs can stop cancer forming cells from growing, and even malignant cells eventually started acting normally again. Easiest fucking excuse ever to grab tit now… almost makes it unfair.

Eagle Snatching Boy is a Fake… Take Your Kids Back To The Playground

This Eagle snatching the little kid off the field has to be the biggest video going around right now, as much as I want to believe this bird just grabbed the kid as prey, too many people are calling it a hoax because of the how it’s filmed. Every 10 year old’s dreams of being scooped up and flown around for a while were just squashed.

We have the evidence after the break
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Statement of the Century Goes to Newtown Murderer’s Barber, Bob Skuba

RMA10912-man-shaveCNN – The most f*cking amazing statement to ever hit the press, Bob Skuba speaks to CNN about how he wishes he would have slit the killers throat. The interview with Bob (the killer’s barber) goes on to state that he always tried to speak to the killer during his appointments. Skuba said he would never get any response from the 20 year old, and even Skuba’s sister felt something was off about the piece of shit murderer. Bob was freaked out about the kids behavior and remembers always saying “what the f*ck” every time he had an interaction with the killer and his mother.

Skuba, who was standing outside his barbershop during the interview, was in absolute disgust as he watched a hearse carrying a 6 year old Jessica Rekos drive by. If one man was ever spot on when it came to expressing how every person in America feels, it is Bob Skuba. Newtown, CT just found it’s new Mayor, Bob Skuba.

God bless all of those children and any person that was affected.

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