Category Archives: News

Fisherman tries to take pictures of a beaver, and ends up dead.

american_beaver_attackUSATodayA fisherman in Belarus was bitten to death by a beaver, and all he was doing was trying to take its picture, Sky News reports. The man spotted the beaver while fishing with friends at Lake Shestakov, but as he approached to take a photograph, the beaver bit him on the thigh. The animal managed to sever an artery, and his friends couldn’t stop the blood flow.

 

 

Shits no joke. Can’t mess around and take random pictures of beavers then think you can get away with it.

All Your Text Messages Could Soon Be Saved By Carriers … Some Things Are Better Left Deleted

wide_Girl-textingCNet -
AT&T, Verizon Wireless, Sprint, and other wireless providers would be required to capture and store Americans’ confidential text messages, according to a proposal that will be presented to a congressional panel today.
The law enforcement proposal would require wireless providers to record and store customers’ SMS messages — a controversial idea akin to requiring them to surreptitiously record audio of their customers’ phone calls — in case police decide to obtain them at some point in the future.
“Billions of texts are sent every day, and some surely contain key evidence about criminal activity,” Richard Littlehale from the Tennessee Bureau of Investigation will tell Congress, according to a copy (PDF) of his prepared remarks. “In some cases, this means that critical evidence is lost. Text messaging often plays a big role in investigations related to domestic violence, stalking, menacing, drug trafficking, and weapons trafficking.”

While this might concern some, I really don’t give a shit. I am more concerned with what people will think when they see the shit I send out to other human beings on a daily basis. My messages aren’t to bitches or in any way about cheating, but more or less how disgusting/absurd/immoral/degrading my friends and I can be. It’s part of what we do as men. You aren’t truly friends with another guy, unless you have abused him for every attribute that his girlfriend/wife might like about him. If you haven’t sent a shit picture to your friends, then you aren’t truly friends with them. With that being said, these messages should never be recovered, they are meant for one time conversations and then to be disposed of permanently. Bad move Big Brother, you’re only fucking over the way our girlfriends/wives will look at us when they see the shit we send.

900+ Dead Pigs Found Floating Around Drinking Water In China

NYDailyNewspigs11n-1-web -
Chinese officials investigate case of 900 dead pigs found floating in Shanghai river
It’s still unclear how the porkers ended up in the water — which is used by city residents. Officials, however, say there’s no evidence the animals were dumped or of an epidemic.
Chinese officials say they have fished out 900 dead pigs from a Shanghai river last week that is a water source for city residents. But they are still trying to figure out where the animals came from.
A statement posted Saturday on the city’s Agriculture Committee’s website says they haven’t found any evidence that the pigs were dumped into the river or of any animal epidemic.
The statement says the city and Songjiang district governments started retrieving the pigs on Friday night. By late Saturday afternoon they had recovered and disposed of more than 900.

Bacon. How dumb are the “Chinese Officials” in this case. They don’t think that the dead pigs are part of an epidemic, and can’t prove they were dumped. Sounds like this shouldn’t be a hard case to solve, not too many people in China should be rolling around with 900 pigs. And those that have that type of bacon potential inventory that don’t in the matter of a day… well that’s your guy.

Michigan Lady Gives Birth To Baby That She Thought Was a Hernia

ld_linda_ackley_mi_130215_wblogABCNewsA woman who said she didn’t know she was pregnant arrived at the hospital and delivered a 10-pound baby girl hours later, a Michigan newspaper reported.
Linda Ackley, 44, said she thought she had a hernia. She’d been told she couldn’t bear children.
“She is our miracle baby,” the stunned new mother, who gave birth on Feb. 8 by emergency C-section, told the Jackson Citizen Patriot. The couple named the little girl Kimberly Kay.
Her husband, Mike, got the news over the telephone.
“Some people have nine months to prepare. I had [15] hours,” he said. “I wish someone would have taken a picture of my face.”

Wait, don’t babies kick while they’re in your stomach and weird shit happening like morning sickness, hormone changes, no more periods… all shit I have heard happening leading to signs that your pregnant. The wife looks stupid as shit, and God bless that kid, let’s not imagine the husband. Guy doesn’t realize that his wife, who just shot out a 10 pound living “hernia”, is pregnant? You just okay with a huge lump in your wife’s stomach bro, not going to question how or why that shit is moving? Get the fuck outta here with that shit.

Antoine-Dodson-Dumb

No big deal, an asteroid is about to barely miss Earth

dave chappelle asteroidCNN – While most are worried about a winter storm bringing little snowflakes of a foot or more, the news networks forgot to mention how the entire globe could be destroyed in a week. According to NASA scientists have discovered an asteroid that is scheduled to arrive close to the Earth’s atmosphere on February 15th. The large rock about 45 meters long or in man terms about a half a football field big,  isn’t worrying scientists. The brains in NASA say that this large rock is only going to be flying by us and will remain about 17,000 miles from our surface. While we don’t have too much to be concerned about, it’s still fucking crazy that this huge rock traveling at 8x the speed of a bullet is going to be crossing paths with us.

Arizona woman gets crazy, kills her sex buddy 3 times over… for making her feel like a prostitute

481225_411343778941770_1016123192_nReuters – (Reuters) – An Arizona woman charged with stabbing and shooting her lover to death – and whose graphic testimony has gripped viewers across the United States – described in court a relationship based around sex that left her feeling “like a prostitute.”
Lawyers for Jodi Arias, who could face the death penalty if convicted, argue she acted in self-defense when she killed her lover. He was found in the shower of his Phoenix valley home, shot in the face, stabbed 27 times and with his throat slit.
“I just felt … a little bit, I hate to put it this way, but I felt a little bit used,” Arias, a petite, bespectacled woman with long brown hair, told the court on Wednesday in a calm, measured tone, describing a relationship she said was based around sex.

“He gets a hotel room, I show up, we hang out, we have sex … He’s not really mentally present. I’m getting a lot of attention, but only while we’re engaging in sexual activity, and then we check out and he takes off. I kind of felt like a prostitute, sort of,” Arias told the court.

This older story has a new sick blame game twist. Let’s just picture this crazy ass woman just sitting in her car, windows up, in front of her man friends house, crying daily to Beyoncé saying “put a ring on”. Poor guy Travis Alexander thought he was set, he has a side piece that he can pipe out any time, she is down with hotel dates, she’s upset about him not calling her a girlfriend, but still allows him to lay the pipe… then boom! You’re being stabbed 27 times, and most likely dead, but then your throat is cut, at this point your 99% dead, then just to ensure you don’t get up she puts a bullet in your head. That’s how Travis’ life ended. Incredibly she is trying to claim self-defense and playing the blame game on the fact that she was giving it up all day every day.

 

Home Depot Gift Cards For All Immigrants Arrested? This Sounds Way Too Easy.

Mexican20Day20LaborersNYDailyNews – This can’t be true. A job can’t get any easier than this. Talk about supplying the answer to the question, the bosses were pretty much handing the teachers booklet with this one. The Border Patrol Agency has that bail out money burning a hole in their pocket.

The DailyNews is reporting that New York Border Patrol Agents were being rewarded with $100 Home Depot gift cards for arresting immigrants. You know, because that isn’t already part of their job, go ahead and incentive vise them for doing it with gift cards to the immigrants career office. In addition to the Home Depot rewards, some agents were getting as much as $2,500 in bonuses, extra days off and vacations. Think about this again, arrest an immigrant, receive a gift card to HOME DEPOT. No better way to slap some illegal Mexicans in the face, than hit Border Patrol up with gift cards to the universal hangout of every Mexican Laborer in the U.S. This has to be a joke, someone at the top was high with his friends and thought it would be really ironic. What a way to be a dick, I want to start seeing some Taco Bell gift card hand outs next to every Narcotics officer who arrests a pothead. 

Study: Married Men Are Idiots For Doing Housework And Rewarded With Less Sex

Father-does-housework-whi-006NYDailyNews - In what could be quite possibly the best article to assist with arguments that men shouldn’t be performing female chores, a new study by the American Sociological Review states men who take on traditionally female tasks such as cooking and cleaning will be rewarded with less sex and even less respect from everyone. Okay maybe the study didn’t state the second part, but it’s also true. Before we jump to conclusions about how this must have been written by men, it was actually co-authored by two females, so it is in no way biased.

The study looked at a variety of men and women in both traditional and non traditional marriages. The men and women that were in study that had a traditional marriage, i.e. women doing what they’re supposed to and cleaning up our messes, doing our laundry and cooking our food, were having more sex than the marriages where men did more than mow the lawn.

Interesting article, and although I appreciate the release of such valuable information, but I ask myself “how did I end up in a marriage where I am cooking, cleaning and doing laundry myself?” And where the f*ck was this information years ago. I thought I was just being a good husband, but this whole time I am hurting myself by trying to help out the wife, and she’s laughing in her heard to herself, it’s a lose/lose for men and win/win for women. If I attempt to squash doing these chores now, I am positive that the result will not mean more sex.

Women Are In Uproar Over Ex-Boyfriends Posting Naked Pics Online and Rating Them

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Upset because they don’t have nude pics of ex bf’s to share and rate

NYDailyNews -
Marianna Taschinger’s boyfriend wanted naked photos of her. She had only been dating the guy for a few months, so she didn’t feel comfortable sending him nude pictures of herself. But after days of coaxing, she grudgingly did what he asked.
Several weeks later, Taschinger found out that those private pictures had been posted online on Texxxan.com, along with her first name, last initial and details about where she lived. The online user, whom Taschinger believes is her now former boyfriend, called her one of his “exploits.”
“He called me a slut and promised to post more of me,” Taschinger told the Beaumont Enterprise. “He said he’d post more pictures if people ‘liked’ what he’d posted so far.”
Taschinger is one of more than two dozen women who plan on filing a class-action lawsuit against the website Texxxan.com, its host, GoDaddy.com, and individual users who post content on the site. They allege that the site is “significantly designed to cause severe embarrassment, humiliation, and emotional distress,” according to a petition filed in the district court of Orange County, Tex.

As if we haven’t heard enough sob stories about this. Guys are competitive… we’re going to compare everything, especially our former accomplishments… “mine is better than yours” when it comes to anything. Did no one learn from Kim’s videos or Paris or Screech’s sex tapes? Utilize this to get on top, make some money and retire. Instead these girls are suing a website, and won’t make a dime. You take a video or picture of yourself, it’s GOING to end up online. If you don’t like it don’t let him take out a phone. Otherwise it’s just understood, you’re free market material once your on the open market.

BTW Credit well deserved to the owners of texxxan.com… amazing idea. 

Philadelphia Streaker Goes Balls Deep On Public Bus Then Chases On-Lookers

naked27n-4-webNYDailyNews – City of brotherly or what bro? Straight balls swinging every where all over everything over there. Some unidentified old guy just went balls deep on a windshield SEPTA Bus. After jumping on the empty bike rack of the public bus, he decided that he might as well put his boxers on his head. Of course people took out their phones to record this old wrinkly ballsack, but we guess he doesn’t like it so he starts chasing them around, meat just swinging every where. He was eventually arrested after attempting to put his boxers back on. 

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Once again, no shocker that we have naked old men trying to jam balls down everyone’s mouth in Philly. Just another average day. (Check out the Video After The Break)

Continue reading

Guy Torches His Estranged Wife For Sending Nude Pics To Other Men

torch26n-2-webNYDailyNews – First we hear about some crazy asshole biting off a girls thumb, now there’s a story about a former mechanic blow torching his estranged wife in a jealousy rage. Carlos Diaz, 35, decided that blow torching his wife Cathy Zapata, 38, would really teach her a lesson. Carlos claims that he had to teach his wife a lesson for sending nude pictures of her surgically renewed body to other men. Apparently Cathy, who just had got a new pair of breast and some liposuction, wanted to show off the investment by sending it on to the new man piping it out.

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The couple had been separated for over 2 years, but Carlos was still obsessed with his baby momma and said that he couldn’t live without her. He continued to plot to get her back and wanted to make sure that he gave her “a little pain”. The torching caused Zapata to suffer burns on her hands, face and neck.

I can understand biting a thumb off here and there, who hasn’t contemplated that, but planning to torch your baby mama… that’s just insane. You see this all too often, a guy loses his only chance at vagina and goes crazy. This story made me realize that, as unfortunate as it might be, I am pretty sure that I am in that same boat. No chance in hell am I finding another hole as beautiful as wifey’s, but even I am not as crazy to get a blow torch to start swinging around flames.

Lady Caught Smuggling Cocaine Into The US In Her “Coochie”

samanthakurdilla1TSG – Samantha Kurdilla (pictured to the left) shows us there’s no better way to use the beautiful parts God gave you, then to stuff them with 100 grams of cocaine.  This 22-year-old woman who lives in a town near Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, was in denial when the dogs first smelled the drugs on her. She visiting Tijuana, Mexico with her guy friend James Perry, and was smoking marijuana, when he allegedly convinces her to shove his coke up her vagina.

Later on after a full body search, the 100 grams of cocaina was found shoved deep inside her wrapped in a condom. To make matters worse, the pro drug trafficker that Kurdilla was, provided ample amounts of evidence for her conviction when the police found a text on her phone that said “..I’m Smuggling Cocaine & Heroin in My Coochie..”. Innocent girl trying to just have fun and utilize what God gave her. What guy on the face of the earth doesn’t think about the capabilities of the vagina daily, if she lets you do it you do it… don’t you? (NSFW - Head Shove In Vagina Link)

Some Guy In Florida Bites His Girls Thumb Off, And Spits It On The Floor In Front of Her

article-finger-0118NYDailyNews – And this is what every guy dreams of doing, but doesn’t want to get arrested for doing. Asshole to the right, was arguing with his female companion when he decided he had had enough, and bit off the bitches thumb. Then being gangsta, he spit it right at her onto the cars floorboard. I am pretty sure that there have been several times where I contemplated it, maybe biting off a pinky, maybe even a toe, in the end though it always comes back. You bite off a finger, she comes back ten times worse. I can’t risk it. Not worth it to take the bosses finger tip-off, and wake up one day missing my sack, the tip of the penis missing, who knows what vagina welding humans are capable of.

Man Ran Over By Train While Taking A Dump

train11n-oyf-1-webNY1 –  A 31 year old homeless man was ran over by a train today while defecating on the East Harlem tracks in NYC. It’s sad to hear this happen to a guy just trying to release feces onto rat infested tracks. I have a bathroom that has a heated vent, this guy was homeless and this was probably the warmest spot available, so I actually feel for this guy. Usually when men are defecating we like to take that time to brainstorm, relax, catch up on me time, discover new species… I am pretty sure God created the earth while taking a dump…which makes this story that much worse that this guy couldn’t just release a load without being interrupted.

Don’t worry, he’s going to live… and if history is any indication of his future, this guy will probably sue the city and end up with millions in the bank.

UPDATE: The man died.

Yeah Yeah 2 Days Late, But Truth is I Can’t Escape No Pants Subway 2013

pants-subway-ride-new-york-city

Courtesy NYDailynews.com WTF IS THAT GUY DOING WITH NO PANTS

Ok ok I know… No Pants subway happened almost two days ago and just now Deliver Nothing is talking about it. I didn’t want to even speak about it because who the hell wouldn’t already know about half-naked bitches running rampant in public. A bunch of females, riding around with just panties on, that’s like every CORM’s dream… including mine. The only problem is the exact picture we see here… some idiot who should never be pantless in public, standing next to a work of art. Why and who are you to even think that anyone cares about you being pantless bro? WTF is wrong with guys wanting to participate in this… it ruins the whole event… and even if you do participate and have a dick, you shouldn’t post for photos bro. Against all man code asshole, put your pants back on you’re ruining this day for the rest of us.

Check out the NYDailyNews for the rest of the pictures that are sure to please until you notice the creepy naked guy in the background of all of them

Wait… For $3,000/Month You Can Buy Yourself A College Coed “Sugar Baby”?!?

anna-nicole-and-old-husband

NYPost Story Summary;

  • Coeds in College at expensive universities are in debt and need “Sugar Daddies” CORM’s (Creepy Old Rich Men)
  • “Mutually Beneficial” relationships are promised in exchange for monthly allowances averaging $3,000/month to College Coeds aka “Sugar Babies”
  • Females with high loans find easy way to legally prostitute to pay off loans
  • SeekingArrangement.com is about to become the world’s largest CORM Database

I mean, I would if I get to that point when I am a creepy old rich man… but still makes me think.

What’s worse? Having your daughter on the pole or dating wrinkly saggy old balls?

 

Never Forget To Buy Your Beer Again.

Samsung T9000_2Sooooooo Samsung introduced a new fridge at CES. A fridge running Android OS on a touchscreen. Yup….now even your fridge has a tablet in it. Right now, it doesn’t have full access to the Play store, but it has some apps built in already. It’s got some video and photo apps, but the coolest feature it’s got is Evernote integration. Personally, I’ve a fan of Google Drive, but the fact that you can quickly write a note on what you need at the store and have it sync to your Evernote account is pretty cool. The downside….the price tag comes in at a nice $4000. If it where up to me, I think I’d rather buy a regular fridge and throw an iPad in my kitchen, like this guy did.

 

 

This Is My Favorite Time Of The Year.

CES 2013

So CES (Consumer Electronics Show) 2013 technically kicks off tomorrow in Las Vegas. Some of the bigger companies are already having press releases and showing off their new toys though. If you have no idea what CES is….let me make a comparison for you: CES to a geek is like the North Pole is to Will Ferrell in Elf. Seriously. Most of the cool shit that you’re going to be buying this year and into early next year, is being shown off for the first time in these few days. Check out some of the cool things that have been announced after the break. Continue reading

Lady Destroys Would-Be Robber’s Attempted Burglary After Shooting Him 5 Times

WSBTV – Story Highlights;

  • Don’t mess with southern homemakers
  • Mother of 2 is home with .38 revolver while husband is at work
  • Burglar attempts to find mom and kids in house
  • Mother blasts the shit out of burglar
  • Burglar fails at burglary and get away and survives 5 gun shots

This lady is no joke. Apparently this mother of 2 was at home and the door ring, but she ignored it thinking it was someone selling vacuums or some shit. She then noticed that the guy at the door wasn’t leaving, and started prying the door open. So she freaks out, grabs her 2 kids in the house and hides. She setups in the attic and waits while the burglar roams through the house trying to find her. The dickhead breaking into her house decides to try to play hide and go seek, not realizing this bitch is crazy and has a .38 revolving waiting for him. Once he finds her, instead of feeling like a winner, he gets greeted with 5 shots close range from her gun. Craziest shit about this isn’t that she shot all 6 rounds and only misses once… but that this piece of shit lives and tries to escape but fails at that too. Cops caught him down the street after he crashed into the woods.