Category Archives: Health

Dogfish or no fish, am I the only one?!?

Beer experts… That’s not me. Beer aficionado, that’s people I know. But a beer drinker that’s me. Go to the bar and willing to drink a new brew, just because I haven’t had it before, fuck it, that’s me.

Honestly out of all the breweries and bullshit I have tried thoughtout the years, there’s only been one that came through in the clutch. The one brewery that hasn’t disappointed is the big D. Not that big douchebag Ryan, but the big D. That Big Dogfish all up in your throat, just sliding down your esophagus, touching your tongue, insert gay analogy, is just what I’m about. Day in day out, Dogfish is what delivernothing swallows.

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Handles Are Overrated, Why This Knife Proves You Never Needed One

dezeen_Primitive-knife-by-Michele-Daneluzzo-for-Del-Ben_5 dezeen_Primitive-knife-by-Michele-Daneluzzo-for-Del-Ben_8This is the Italian designed knife that is becoming known for making us look like assholes for years for using a handle to cut with. This knife is designed by Michele Daneluzzo, in an attempt to improve on something that has really always been the same, the kitchen knife. Michele was attending a school in Vienna, and decided that instead of exerting the pressure on the wooden handle, that why can’t we create a handle as part of the blade itself.

The knife is made of one piece of steel, that goes from a razor-sharp edge to a rounded handle. The handle is supposed to allow you to cut with more precision and strength, as you are now using the force directly on the blade. The direct pressure on the blade creates less force being exerted unnecessarily and makes it easier to filet that salmon.

Cutlery isn’t something that I normally give a shit about, but this just screamed “hey asshole, even you could have thought of something like this”. Reason number 234589, that I am always going to be broke. Something as stupid as the knife, just made this women thousands, if not millions for her pothead idea. Courtesy of Dezeen

900+ Dead Pigs Found Floating Around Drinking Water In China

NYDailyNewspigs11n-1-web -
Chinese officials investigate case of 900 dead pigs found floating in Shanghai river
It’s still unclear how the porkers ended up in the water — which is used by city residents. Officials, however, say there’s no evidence the animals were dumped or of an epidemic.
Chinese officials say they have fished out 900 dead pigs from a Shanghai river last week that is a water source for city residents. But they are still trying to figure out where the animals came from.
A statement posted Saturday on the city’s Agriculture Committee’s website says they haven’t found any evidence that the pigs were dumped into the river or of any animal epidemic.
The statement says the city and Songjiang district governments started retrieving the pigs on Friday night. By late Saturday afternoon they had recovered and disposed of more than 900.

Bacon. How dumb are the “Chinese Officials” in this case. They don’t think that the dead pigs are part of an epidemic, and can’t prove they were dumped. Sounds like this shouldn’t be a hard case to solve, not too many people in China should be rolling around with 900 pigs. And those that have that type of bacon potential inventory that don’t in the matter of a day… well that’s your guy.

Michigan Lady Gives Birth To Baby That She Thought Was a Hernia

ld_linda_ackley_mi_130215_wblogABCNewsA woman who said she didn’t know she was pregnant arrived at the hospital and delivered a 10-pound baby girl hours later, a Michigan newspaper reported.
Linda Ackley, 44, said she thought she had a hernia. She’d been told she couldn’t bear children.
“She is our miracle baby,” the stunned new mother, who gave birth on Feb. 8 by emergency C-section, told the Jackson Citizen Patriot. The couple named the little girl Kimberly Kay.
Her husband, Mike, got the news over the telephone.
“Some people have nine months to prepare. I had [15] hours,” he said. “I wish someone would have taken a picture of my face.”

Wait, don’t babies kick while they’re in your stomach and weird shit happening like morning sickness, hormone changes, no more periods… all shit I have heard happening leading to signs that your pregnant. The wife looks stupid as shit, and God bless that kid, let’s not imagine the husband. Guy doesn’t realize that his wife, who just shot out a 10 pound living “hernia”, is pregnant? You just okay with a huge lump in your wife’s stomach bro, not going to question how or why that shit is moving? Get the fuck outta here with that shit.

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NYC Optometrist Offering Free Drinks To Patients Prior To Exams

10.1N021.pie-eyedoc1--300x350NYPostA Park Slope eye doctor is offering booze to customers to help them unwind before exams — but not every client is impressed by the nutty hops-tometry.

“I was offered a beer on my first visit,” griped one patient, Mark T., on Yelp. “Seriously, alcohol before an eye exam? And in a medical environment?”

But Dr. Justin Bazan says that after 5 p.m., it’s happy hour.

“Don’t worry. None of the team is drinking! We are not a sterile [hospital],” Bazan wrote in his defense. “We are friendly, helpful and like to have fun! We have beer/wine tastings all the time.

Patients are offered tea, snacks and craft brews on arrival. Most finish their libations in the lobby, but Bazan allows unfinished ales in the exam room, too.

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Female Fitness Models; Can Having Too Much Muscle Equate to Being Unattractive?

photo-5I am always arguing with my uncle about Fitness Models. They (I’m talking about bicep welding women who can flex and pop your head off, not just girls into fitness) are in a category of women that I can’t decide whether we’re looking at ridiculously chiseled asses, or just bitches with more muscle than Mike. I get pictures of women pictured to the left all the time from my uncle who probably would give his left leg for a chance with these models. But they have this look, that while it intrigues me to take a look, I don’t know how I feel about the whole “no jiggle” effect. Not that I want flabby mush, but I do like to see something jiggle a little in dresses, or yoga pants. Having the biceps that can crush my head too, just kinda makes me lose the normal feeling I get about women having that soft, cute, caring feel and makes me want to be on the look out for a jab to the face.

Although Fitness Models are definitely on a better level than bodybuilding female freaks, and for the most part are gorgeous, but I just think that they are on the verge of seeping into the bodybuilding category. Some of these girls have the most amazing bodies ever, and while every female/male should be hitting the gym, certain aspects of working out should be MALE only. So… are Fitness Models really good-looking, or is it just another funny meme background because they are more jacked than I could ever dream of being?

FITNESS GALLERY AFTER THE BREAK

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Study: Married Men Are Idiots For Doing Housework And Rewarded With Less Sex

Father-does-housework-whi-006NYDailyNews - In what could be quite possibly the best article to assist with arguments that men shouldn’t be performing female chores, a new study by the American Sociological Review states men who take on traditionally female tasks such as cooking and cleaning will be rewarded with less sex and even less respect from everyone. Okay maybe the study didn’t state the second part, but it’s also true. Before we jump to conclusions about how this must have been written by men, it was actually co-authored by two females, so it is in no way biased.

The study looked at a variety of men and women in both traditional and non traditional marriages. The men and women that were in study that had a traditional marriage, i.e. women doing what they’re supposed to and cleaning up our messes, doing our laundry and cooking our food, were having more sex than the marriages where men did more than mow the lawn.

Interesting article, and although I appreciate the release of such valuable information, but I ask myself “how did I end up in a marriage where I am cooking, cleaning and doing laundry myself?” And where the f*ck was this information years ago. I thought I was just being a good husband, but this whole time I am hurting myself by trying to help out the wife, and she’s laughing in her heard to herself, it’s a lose/lose for men and win/win for women. If I attempt to squash doing these chores now, I am positive that the result will not mean more sex.

Guy Torches His Estranged Wife For Sending Nude Pics To Other Men

torch26n-2-webNYDailyNews – First we hear about some crazy asshole biting off a girls thumb, now there’s a story about a former mechanic blow torching his estranged wife in a jealousy rage. Carlos Diaz, 35, decided that blow torching his wife Cathy Zapata, 38, would really teach her a lesson. Carlos claims that he had to teach his wife a lesson for sending nude pictures of her surgically renewed body to other men. Apparently Cathy, who just had got a new pair of breast and some liposuction, wanted to show off the investment by sending it on to the new man piping it out.

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The couple had been separated for over 2 years, but Carlos was still obsessed with his baby momma and said that he couldn’t live without her. He continued to plot to get her back and wanted to make sure that he gave her “a little pain”. The torching caused Zapata to suffer burns on her hands, face and neck.

I can understand biting a thumb off here and there, who hasn’t contemplated that, but planning to torch your baby mama… that’s just insane. You see this all too often, a guy loses his only chance at vagina and goes crazy. This story made me realize that, as unfortunate as it might be, I am pretty sure that I am in that same boat. No chance in hell am I finding another hole as beautiful as wifey’s, but even I am not as crazy to get a blow torch to start swinging around flames.

Lady Caught Smuggling Cocaine Into The US In Her “Coochie”

samanthakurdilla1TSG – Samantha Kurdilla (pictured to the left) shows us there’s no better way to use the beautiful parts God gave you, then to stuff them with 100 grams of cocaine.  This 22-year-old woman who lives in a town near Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, was in denial when the dogs first smelled the drugs on her. She visiting Tijuana, Mexico with her guy friend James Perry, and was smoking marijuana, when he allegedly convinces her to shove his coke up her vagina.

Later on after a full body search, the 100 grams of cocaina was found shoved deep inside her wrapped in a condom. To make matters worse, the pro drug trafficker that Kurdilla was, provided ample amounts of evidence for her conviction when the police found a text on her phone that said “..I’m Smuggling Cocaine & Heroin in My Coochie..”. Innocent girl trying to just have fun and utilize what God gave her. What guy on the face of the earth doesn’t think about the capabilities of the vagina daily, if she lets you do it you do it… don’t you? (NSFW - Head Shove In Vagina Link)

Some Guy In Florida Bites His Girls Thumb Off, And Spits It On The Floor In Front of Her

article-finger-0118NYDailyNews – And this is what every guy dreams of doing, but doesn’t want to get arrested for doing. Asshole to the right, was arguing with his female companion when he decided he had had enough, and bit off the bitches thumb. Then being gangsta, he spit it right at her onto the cars floorboard. I am pretty sure that there have been several times where I contemplated it, maybe biting off a pinky, maybe even a toe, in the end though it always comes back. You bite off a finger, she comes back ten times worse. I can’t risk it. Not worth it to take the bosses finger tip-off, and wake up one day missing my sack, the tip of the penis missing, who knows what vagina welding humans are capable of.

Holy Sh*t Another Guy Pushed Into On Coming Subway Train

ABCNEWSWitnesses told police that the victim did not seem to notice the woman behind him. He was struck by the first of the 11-car train. His body was pinned under the front of the second car as the train came to a stop, according to a statement from Deputy Commissioner Paul Browne.

Wtf is going on here? Guy standing at the subway station didn’t even notice the lady standing there? So this was a random push and shove situation? Shits getting crazy here in NYC. Women have always been hidden devils and not to be trusted (especially those you sleep with nightly), but now they’re randomly pushing people onto the tracks.

Chad Johnson Sextape a Product of Boredom?

chadochocincoNYDN- The NFL player formally known as OCHOCINCO isn’t catching footballs anymore, instead he’s trying to manage ménage à trois while filming it. Chad Johnson recently admitted to being in a sex tape that has gone viral. SHOCKINGLY  he is claiming that he didn’t want the tape to go public, and that it was leaked unwillingly into the hands of someone smart enough to upload it to the internet. We’re calling BULLSHIT. Okay so we understand that Chad Johnson claims he wants to be resigned, and that he is definitely worth looking at for some teams. But what happens in the mean time, when he isn’t required to go to practice and watch tape… you make sex-tapes  Any man in his spot would do it, but own up to it Chad, this was intentionally done because your bored and wanted to get your name back out there. Don’t forget about Chad’s condoms, and some role we should be seeing these show up in once the video makes it’s official debut.

***Video after the break***

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Squeezing Boobs Stops Cancer … How Much Easier Does It Get?!?

justin-timberlake-mila-kunisMSN – I thought this was a joke, no way am I about to get away with grabbing wifey’s jugs randomly. On top of randomly grabbing tits, excusing it as a trying to ensure we are preventing cancer from forming… Jesus, shit is getting easy for us.

Research now shows that grabbing and applying pressure to boobs can stop cancer forming cells from growing, and even malignant cells eventually started acting normally again. Easiest fucking excuse ever to grab tit now… almost makes it unfair.

Man Charged with Sexual Assault on Donkeys

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Gets no ass, turns to donkeys

NYDN- A man in Florida is accused of masturbating to donkeys in Florida. He is now fighting the crime against him, claiming that this is unconstitutional because sexual conduct in private, whether with a donkey or not, cannot be determined to cause harm or unconsensual.

Sure you jerk off to donkeys and think its okay, no problem bro, that’s not the most f*cked up thing ever. (Check out the victim after the break) Continue reading

Who’s Milf of the Century? Jennifer Nicole Lee

NYPost – The Post is on my top list for reminding me about Jennifer Nicole Lee. The top notch MILF of the century. Look at this body, after 2 kids and 37 years of gravity pulling down on her, she still looks like she would give Elton John a hard on.

Every vagina loving person needs more of her…Click continue reading for a gallery of MILF.

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I’m Getting Hungry Thinking about Pizza Hut Perfume

 

Pizza Hut Perfume, the Curry Alternative

DailyNews – The DailyNews and many other news sources are reporting about Pizza Hut seriously producing and sending out over 100 bottles of “pizza dough and herb” scented perfume. This perfume is just for a select few who actually followed up with messaging Pizza Hut back in September, but I have a feeling they’re going to continue producing this appetite enticing formula. Aside from the usual turn off of walking past someone and thinking about how badly they stink of garlic and herbs, I think the marketing ploy here is amazing…

Exoskeleton by Mount Sinai Allows Those Paralyzed Ability to Walk Again

Reeve’s is pissed, just rolling in his grave…

CBS – This week in NYC, a man who has been paralyzed from a crane accident almost 5 years ago, was finally able to walk again with assistance from an exoskeleton device. The exoskeleton which was unveiled by Mount Sinai hospital, is just part of a project that is a work in progress and has not been officially released.

Check after the break for the video Continue reading